anyone would find it creepy, i swear they would

i feel like some kind of walking, leaking bloodpack because my nose is bleeding, I'm coughing up blood and the weird scar/scratch mark thingies down my chest are breaking apart so there was blood all over my pyjama shirt this morning. the scars annoy me the most though because I'm not even 100% sure they ARE scars but sometimes they just.....break and there ends up being 7 lines of blood down whatever shirt i happen to be wearing at the time. then they heal up, break, bleed, heal and ect. i honestly can't be bothered to fix it because it probably involves skin grafts and surgery or something and I'm not cool with that at all. 

i'm just imagining something; in El Salvador, every morning, some dude on a bicycle rides down the street ringing the bell to alert people he's there so they can come out and buy bread or something like that from the basket on the front of his bike. i'm just thinking what would happen if i did that down my street offering up my blood. they'd probably think i'm crazy and send me to a mental institution or something. ah well. 

that actually reminded me of the time that creepy dude down the street asked me whether i knew where he could donate blood. RNSH is 20 minutes south. i can't believe he missed that. 

my hands are infected. it is no longer one hand but both. bandages and medicine don't help so again, i give up. if they end up rotting off or something i can tell people who i hate that i'm secretly a zombie and if they touch me they'll be infected too. or i can rub infection on them. not sure whether they'll get sick but it'll be fun to see how they try and disinfect themselves. 

god that's morbid. erase that from your memory. now. 

go. 

go.

on a final note, they switched my medication from tablet form to liquid. i hated the tablet form so i didn't take it which resulted in me becoming quite sick and unable to balance myself properly when walking, standing, ect. my skin went white and my nails were flaky and thin. immune system was almost non-existent and i was almost always sick one way or another. so. recovery time.

-Renee