if you dun wanna read about my moody-ness, stop. now.

not 100% sure why but right now it feels like someone tore out one of my ribs and is using it as a voodoo doll. seriously, it HURTS. and my mood music is All That I've Got and Buried Myself Alive by The Used. feeling kinda happy un-happy right now and VERY confused. i had a dream that my friend got into a very special school and, alright, i LIED. it wasn't jenny i dreamt got in it was Luma.

my conscience is now happy but i sure as hell aren't. i think i feel a small song verse coming on.

just crawl in here, and leave me alone 

red footprints stalk me and i don't know where's home

and they've left me alone.  

it hurts, never felt it and i re-surfaced here 

so hard that i didn't even try and hold on

lately, quite frankly, i have no idea what my brain is telling me. first it's happy then it's sad and dizzy. i can't sleep and i feel quite neutral towards most things. we might be going on a holiday = not that exited. my test results are coming back = pretty damn angry.  it's all that i can do to not flip out and loose my mind. when i get my keyboard fixed i'm gonna learn how to play the ending piano bit to Sold My Soul by the used. it makes me sleepy and when i'm asleep i'm in a magical world full of music i'm asleep. i wish the weather was warmer. it's really cold right now and i don't like heaters. they feel too fake. and weird. like when you get that tight feeling after accidentally cutting your finger while washing the dishes and you get soap in it. ok....loosing most head normality so i might just go and write some stuff down. they mainly turn out as poems or songs. not sure which but i don't want this year to end. otherwise my friends might go away and it's TERRIBLE.